Yep, today I freaked out........(Imagine crazy woman running around house pulling out hair trying to do things that really don't matter in the whole grand scheme of things!)
I really had no reason to, nothing happened, nothing changed, and this all still seems so unreal but I started thinking about things and sometimes that's just not a good idea. I looked into haircare for hair that I have no idea how to take care of (overwhelmed.....), I repacked the kids suitcase, for the third time, and then racked my brain trying to think of all the things I need to get done around the house before the kids come home. I don't know why it's so important for me to do this, it's not like life is going to stop once our family is united. Life will continue to move along at a rapid pace and there will be many more things that I just HAVE TO GET DONE.......I don't know why I do this to myself.
I can't really explain how I feel, in fact I don't really know how I feel. There is so much to think about, so much I don't know, and so much I just wish I didn't know. I want this to be simple but life just isn't simple is it? I'm looking for paradise on earth (aren't we all?!?!?) and I know that's unrealistic but it's that ache for rightness with God that I can't seem to find here and I long for everything to be restored. One day everything will be perfect, everything will be just how it was designed to be but for now I'll trust in the Creator the One who knows infinitely more than I do and I'll rest in that, I'll quiet my soul and lay everything down at the foot of the cross. So much easier said than done but that's my goal and I hope that you will join me as you go through the chaos and messiness of life and lay your everything down with me. Jesus has this and when things seem just a little crazy we can know that He has it all worked out. I know that all sounds so trite but it's true, it's so simple but we tend to complicate things. All we need to do is keep our focus on Jesus, I'm finding more and more that no matter what I'm going through, when I focus on Him everything else fades to background. It's not easy but it's a choice and one I have committed to taking over and over again in this life.
We leave for Haiti in 11 more sleeps, we will return with two precious children and this real life, messy adoption will forever be a beautiful picture of what God has done for us. He has rescued us from the sin that so easily entangles and from separation from Him, He has given us a place to call home, and He welcomes us as sons and daughters.
Please pray for us as we prepare to transition from a family of five to a family of seven. It may not be easy but it will be beautiful.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
We are no longer orphans because of what God did for us. With one simple act of obedience our sins were forgiven at the cross. So what are we doing with the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ? Our family has decided to take a step of faith and do what He's called us to do, to take care of widows and orphans. Our journey starts with adoption.